


Looking for a friend

by Dorthea



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Ben Parker Dies, Birthday, Birthday Presents, Depressing, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Gift Giving, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mentioned Ben Parker, Minor Character Death, Not Happy, Original Character Death(s), Parent Pepper Potts, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Pepper Potts Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Trying His Best, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, Protective Happy Hogan, Protective May Parker (Spider-Man), Protective Pepper Potts, References to Depression, Sad, Sad Peter Parker, Supportive May Parker (Spider-Man), Worried May Parker (Spider-Man)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:55:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorthea/pseuds/Dorthea
Summary: Peter had been dead once, for five years. Five, long, years. Five years he had missed with Tony, and with Pepper. Five years he’d lost with May, and with Morgan. Five year’s he’d lost with Ned, and with MJ. And with Liz, and Flash. Five years he couldn’t get back, and yet still here he where. Five years later, alive.Alone.It’s the 10th of august, Peter’s birthday. May is determined to celebrate, but really, Peter doesn’t feel like doing anything at all.
Relationships: Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, Karen (Spider-Man: Homecoming) & Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Kudos: 45





	Looking for a friend

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the late post. Had some personally stuff preventing me from writing.

“Hey Pete”, Pepper is standing in the doorway to his room at the compound. It’s the 10th of august, Peter’s birthday. May is determined to celebrate, but really, Peter doesn’t feel like doing anything at all.  
  
Peter just turns around the unmade bed, hoping for Pepper to leave him alone. For her to understand that Peter can’t do that right now. Can’t be happy like everybody else. Not like Morgan who, thankfully, doesn’t seem to faced by the lack of her father.  
  
Peter remembers when he where at her age, just five. Remembers the day May and Ben told him about the accident. Peter wish he could have been more like Morgan then, but Peter had cried. Hours, on hours, Peter hadn’t done anything but cry.  
  
Peter can’t help but think, that maybe Morgan doesn’t really understand death.  
  
Peter had been dead once, for five years. Five, long, years. Five years he had missed with Tony, and with Pepper. Five years he’d lost with May, and with Morgan. Five year’s he’d lost with Ned, and with MJ. And with Liz, and Flash. Five years he couldn’t get back, and yet still here he where. Five years later, alive.  
  
Maybe Morgan thinks that’s how is always works, that people will return even when their dead.  
  
Peter feels sorry for when Morgan realizes that death doesn’t work like that. Feels sorry for Pepper, when her daughter has to cry for weeks or months, because she realized. Feels bad for Pepper that she has to go through it all once more. Just for Morgan’s sake.

_“Happy birthday, Petey pie!” a voice Peter knows to well calls from outside the door, as it slowly opens with a soft click.  
  
Peter has already been awake for hours, just waiting for the moment where mom and dad would wake up too. Sing for him, hug him a little tighter, and eat birthday breakfast together.  
  
Yet now, Peter hides under the blankets, hoping that his parents haven’t realized his awake. Hoping that they will sing a little higher, for him to wake up. Hoping and dreaming that things, things are going to be amazing on this amazing summer day. _

“Look Pete” Pepper comes closer, sits down at the edge of the bed. Peter can feel it shift under him, but it’s not enough for him to get uncomfortable. “I know things are hard right now, but Morgan would really like to give you something”.  
  
Peter turns slightly, looks up, into Pepper’s blue eyes. “I don’t really feel up to it…” Peter replies, letting himself fall back onto the pillow. “Maybe later”.  
  
Pepper places a careful hand on Peter’s leg, “Well May’s coming soon. You better get yourself a shower before we head out”. She said, getting up and shutting the door behind her. Morgan screaming, crying and being frustrated on the other side of the door.  
  
But Pepper was right, May wasn’t going to let Peter out of celebrating on the this ‘big day’ so he carefully got up from the bed. Letting the blanket that had been over him, fall to the floor with a small thud as he got to his feet.  
  
The floor was cold, despite the late summer temperatures. It had gotten colder a little earlier than normal, or… maybe it just felt like that to Peter’s sense? They had been wonky ever since he returned from Titan.  
  
Or well, not ever since he returned from Titan, but ever since Mr. Stark had snapped his fingers. Before Peter even got to him, before he got close enough to hear the heart beat slow down. Peter had known that Tony was going to die right there. In the middle of the battlefield. No chance of saving his life, no matter what anyone did. Cho couldn’t do anything, Strange couldn’t either. The arc reactor could just barely keep him alive for long enough for Pepper to say goodbye.  
  
And as the light had left Tony’s eyes, the warmth had left Peter’s body. 

_The beach is filled with people, the sand clean and the sun is shining bright over Queens. Ned, Peter, and their parents are all having fun in the water. Building sandcastles, shooting with water guns, and learning how to swim correctly.  
  
Earlier they had eaten ice cream in a little shop, but before that they had open all of Peter’s gifts together.  
  
“I still can’t believe you got the new Lego Star Wars, The clone wars game!” Ned is talking excitedly filling a bucket with sand for their 3ed castle of the day.  
  
Peter nods “Yeah! And we are going to play it together the next time you come over”. _

The water of the shower feels like big rain drops. Dripping down of his skin, running down his arms and legs and chest. And it’s cold, ice cold. Almost numbing.  
  
It’s better than the empty feeling Peter has felt ever since the battle with Thanos. Ever since he had been dusted. And it was differently better than the feeling of being ripped apart over and over and over again.  
  
Peter had felt it, and his enhanced healing capabilities had allowed him to live just a little longer. Allowed him to stumble into Mr. Stark’s arms. Allowed him to feel the heat, the worry, the panic of his mentor as he had crumbled into pieces.  
  
Had been able to see the sadness as in his eyes, as Peter whisper “I’m sorry”.  
  
“Petey!” Morgan’s small voice comes through the door to the bathroom “Mommy says I have to tell you Aunty May is here!”. He little voice sounds so happy, so excited to see May. So excited for Peter to become excited, but Peter doesn’t become excited. He just sighs, turns of the water and grabs a towel as he leans against the wall folding the softness around him.  
  
“I’ll be right there” Peter assures her try to act as normal as possible. But it haven’t been easy since that day.

_It turns out there isn’t a next time for Ned to come visit Peter in the house with his parents. Isn’t a next time where they will spill soda on the wooden floors or visit the local park.  
  
The next time Peter sees Ned, is at the funeral.  
  
His parent’s funeral.  
  
“I’m so sorry Pete. May and Ben will watch you till mom and dad is home again” She promises hugging him close “Happy birthday kiddo”.  
  
They had been about to eat birthday dinner when the call came. When work was once again more important, but Peter understood. Accepted it. He was used to it. It wasn’t new.  
  
What was new was that they never returned home. _

“Happy birthday my big boy” May says, pulling him into a hug as he enters the living room of the compound. Morgan is eating a soda pop, dripping the red melted liquid onto the white couch. But neither May, nor Pepper seem to mind.  
  
A small gift is pressed into Peter’s hands. A beautiful box, really. Red paper, blue bond. Like the original Spider-man suit.  
  
Pepper smiles at him from the couch, “Tony made it before the snap” Pepper says “it was all his idea”. The box is heavy, but with his Spider-powers it doesn’t matter too much.  
  
Peter places the box off to the side, not feeling the need to pull out old memories. 

_Peter’s next birthday is in a small apartment in Queens, owned by his uncle Ben and his wife, May. Who Peter calls Aunt May. Because everyone does that.  
  
It’s different there.  
  
They don’t go out on his birthday like he had always done with his parents. They had stayed home. Ned hadn’t come over, May and Ben hadn’t woken him up with song.  
  
Instead they had been busy, getting ready for work at the hospital and the police station._

_The restaurant that May has found is great. There’s something everyone likes. Everything from Vegan Pepper, to meat loving Happy and picky Morgan.  
  
May is the on doing the conversation, Peter just moves his food around the plate with his fork.  
  
“So how are things at the compound, must be weird to live with so much space?” She asks with a slight smile. Peter shrugs in reply. “Have you gone in the labs yet? I’m sure Tony must have left access to you, right?”. Peter shakes his head.  
  
And that’s how most of the night goes. Peter doesn’t say a word, Morgan says a lot. May, Happy and Pepper sends Peter weird looks._

__It only a few years later when Peter’s birthday routine changes again. Because suddenly, Ben is gone. Shoot down by a mugger that Peter could have stopped with his powers.  
  
This year Peter goes on patrol on his birthday.  
  
The following day, Tony Stark shows up in the apartment. _ _

_Peter is laying on the bed again, it’s late and Pepper, May and Morgan is already asleep.  
  
“Kid?” Happy ask carefully pushing the door open “You should really open the gift we got you”.  
  
Peter looks up at Happy who’s holding the gift box. “Happy, I don’t feel like opening a gift from Mr. Stark”.  
  
“Then don’t look at it as a gift from Tony, it could just be from me and Pepper” Happy says, placing the gift next to Peter on the bed. Before leaving.  
  
Peter sighs, carefully opening the small box.  
  
In it is placed a small metal piece with one button on it. It’s painted black.  
  
Peter carefully let his finger press down the button, it’s a little heavy, specifically build for someone with his kind of strength.  
  
A small hologram comes out the black cube. A female face showing itself. “Hello Peter” Karen’s voice rings out of a speaker in the bottom of the cube.  
  
“Karen?” Peter asks in disbelief. He hasn’t heard the voice since that night during the battle.  
  
The holo face nods “That’s correct Peter. Mr. Stark created this device, allowing you full access to me without the need of the suit”.  
  
“That’s kinda cool” Peter says. But gulping at the thought of Stark.  
  
“I’m sorry about what happened” Karen says, “Would you like to talk about it?”.  
  
Peter nods, tears slowly starting to run from his eyes. “I miss him so much. Karen. And everyone keeps asking me if I’m going to be the next Iron Man, and I… I don’t know if that’s me” Peter says “And I can’t even wear the original suit anymore, I need my own. The new one. Because the old is too painful of a memory and…”.  
  
“Mr. Stark missed you too” Karen says, “He did all this for you”.  
  
Peter shakes his head “Why would he do that?”.  
  
“Because he missed you” Karen said again, “Would you like to play the recorded birthday messages he left for you?”.  
  
“He…” Peter is lost for words “he left messages?”.  
  
“That is correct”.  
  
Peter gaps a little, holding the black block. “Not tonight Karen. Right now I just need a friend. Do you mind being that?”.  
  
“Not at all Peter”._


End file.
